Rules to Live By

AJ Teaters | 6 comments

Rules to Live By

I have been a teacher for almost 5 years now and for the entirety of this time ONE thing has bothered me more than anything else. I have developed the BIGGEST pet-peeve of my whole life simply from working with students ages 5-12. You would think it was something huge like irresponsibility or disrespect, possibly theft or apathy (trust me apathy is second to this)... However most all of these pail in comparison to the #1.

Made up 4-Square rules!

It honestly frustrates me to no end. Hearing these kids rattle off rules that make no sense to actually playing the game (list will follow). It seems less like a game of 4-square and more like a imagination/creative writing contest. Here is a list of all the "rules" I have heard over the past 4 1/4 years:

4-Square Rules (listed in no particular order):

1. Aces
2. Fisties
3. Key lock
4. 10 second ninjas
5. Cherry bombs
6. Shoe shiner
7. Electric chair
8. Double Hits
9. 2 second holds
10. Snake eyes
11. *Water slides
12. *Batman and Robin
13. *Stamps
14. *Claps
15. *Holidays
16. *Bouncies
17. *Gummies
18. *Spits
19. *Tweakers
20. *Bahama Mamas
21. *William Tell
22. *Helicopter
23. *Dragon Claw
24. *Merlins Beard
25. *BBQ Sauce
26. *Telephone
27. *Credit Card

Then it got weird:

1. **Debt Ceiling
2. **Head Shots
3. **Porn Stars
4. **Opium Den
5. **One-Night Stands
6. **JFK Assassination
7. **Holocaust

* = Strange
** = Outrageously weird

Once the 1st graders started calling out "Porn Stars" and "Holocaust" I had to put a stop to the insanity! To tell you the truth, all the ones with asterisks I've never actually heard... but I wouldn't be surprised if I did one day! If you asked me to tell you what a Bahama Mama is I couldn't tell you (even if it were real to begin with). And this is my point, these rules are so crazy and bizarre that it doesn't matter that I can't keep up because I don't play with those rules.

Kids nowadays have no sense of history, and if it takes teaching them the original rules to 4-square to instill some heritage into their otherwise insignificant lives then I will carry that torch!

The scariest thing about this whole phenomenon is what I experienced just a year ago.

I was scheduled for recess duty (watching to make sure none of the little angels killed each other) on one of the first days of school when I happened to over hear the rules of a 4 square game being recited to a group of 3rd graders. The boy who was in the "king" position rattled off like 5 or 6 rules, "No cherry bombs, snake eyes or fisties, holds and double hits are allowed, and king can't get out on serve." The reason that this otherwise normal event caught my attention was because I knew that there were "new kids" playing and I was interested to see how they questioned what these "rules" were. To my immediate and bewildered amazement the "new kids" didn't question the "rules" they were told. THEY KNEW THE RULES! It was like some crazy religious cult or a fruity hippie commune (They were all drinking the kool-aid). I have been to other schools and witnessed the same thing... Teachers and parents be forewarned; keep a vigilant watch over this infectious mindset. If we don't instill a foundation of classic playground game rules, the catastrophic possibilities are endless!

Example:
Dr. Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! 

(I've been waiting to use a Ghostbusters reference for a while now... But honestly, when is Ghostbusters not applicable to real-life situations?!)

I can't describe the shock, this went from epidemic to pandemic in a matter of a few short words over the course of a few short seconds! Regardless of the insurmountable circumstances, of overcoming this widespread horror I will take up the torch of slaying this infectious tribulation! Who's with me?!

3 Things: Thing 3

AJ Teaters | 3 comments

3 Things: Thing 3

I remember a time, not too long ago when boys and girls were allowed to talk to each other without fear of being labeled "a couple".

I have a dream where this is a possibility again. I have a dream where teenage boys and teenage girls will not be pressured into an unnecessary relationship. I have a dream where relationship status updates will have a "dating" option. I have a dream where peer pressure, perception and society will not rule the relationships of our Tweens and Teens. I have a dream that this fine nation will one day see the abolishment of co-dependent, no-dependent alliances between boys and girls. I have a dream that "dating" will one day resurface as a time where people get to know each other and not a time where others define their relationship for them. I HAVE A DREAM!

Where did this come from? Recently I have noticed that like-minded teens are throwing around a very 19th century term, "courting". First let me preface this with the fact that I'm not that old, regardless of what the teenagers say. I remember when (yeah that made me sound old, but is there a better way to produce a flashback in writing) I was in high school I "dated" girls, (I also walked to school uphill... both ways... in the snow... without shoes... while rabid neighborhood dogs chewed off my toes... carrying a huge metal pole during a lightning storm... yes it can lightning during a snow storm... then I had to cross a bed of hot coals to enter all my classrooms... my teachers would scald us with hot tar if we answered a question wrong... whilst sticking rocks in our mouths to help us with our pronunciation...) nevertheless I "dated" girls. My whole concept of dating was to get to know girls that I found attractive for whatever reason I did (physical, intellectual, personality, etc.) What I was looking for were things that I found desireable, not necessarily looking for someone I was going to marry, but looking for characteristics that I would want in someone that I would marry.


This is the major difference I see in courtship and dating:

Courtship:

If you're going to court you might as well dress the part

1. strictly supervised by a parent or approved chaperone at all times
2. speaking is limited to correspondence
3. high collars and long dresses
4. positioning a your fan the right way (Funny Post for further fan flirting reading)
5. lacking trust

Dating:

1. unsupervised time to get to know the 'real' person
2. speaking can be done in person, text, phone, facebook, twitter, tumblr (not MySpace, that's where all the whores are!)
3. normal clothes
4. no fans
5. parental trust

I can see why there is such a giant swing back to courtship, a few too many teenage pregnancies will sour anybody's punch bowl, but if kids nowadays actually "dated" they would be better off. All I know is that the common perception associated with dating is this conversation:

Moron teenager 1: "Hey did you hear Xander and Bella are dating?"

Moron teenager 2: "Really?! I knew they liked each other, but now they're together?"

Moron teenager 1: "Yep, totally and exclusively each others. They're both off the market."

Moron teenager 2: "Huh... Wonder what they're gonna name their kids?"

Teenagers are already under the impression that they are in a committed "adult" relationship because they used the word dating, therefore they can handle everything that goes along with that type of relationship. Obviously the only thing that comes to mind is  

 SEX

So what we need is a better value associated with dating. It's not meant to be an orgy of sex, drugs and rock n' roll. From my understanding it's supposed to be a time where 2 people can get to know each other without the piano of marriage hanging over their heads.

  
STOP HATING ON DATING.