Rules to Live By
I have been a teacher for almost 5 years now and for the entirety of this time ONE thing has bothered me more than anything else. I have developed the BIGGEST pet-peeve of my whole life simply from working with students ages 5-12. You would think it was something huge like irresponsibility or disrespect, possibly theft or apathy (trust me apathy is second to this)... However most all of these pail in comparison to the #1.Made up 4-Square rules!
4-Square Rules (listed in no particular order):
- Aces
- Fisties
- Key lock
- 10 second ninjas
- Cherry bombs
- Shoe shiner
- Electric chair
- Double Hits
- 2 second holds
- Snake eyes
- *Water slides
- *Batman and Robin
- *Stamps
- *Claps
- *Holidays
- *Bouncies
- *Gummies
- *Spits
- *Tweakers
- *Bahama Mamas
- *William Tell
- *Helicopter
- *Dragon Claw
- *Merlins Beard
- *BBQ Sauce
- *Telephone
- *Credit Card
- **Debt Ceiling
- **Head Shots
- **Porn Stars
- **Opium Den
- **One-Night Stands
- **JFK Assassination
- **Holocaust
** = Outrageously weird
Once the 1st graders started calling out "Porn Stars" and "Holocaust" I had to put a stop to the insanity! To tell you the truth, all the ones with asterisks I've never actually heard... but I wouldn't be surprised if I did one day! If you asked me to tell you what a Bahama Mama is I couldn't tell you (even if it were real to begin with). And this is my point, these rules are so crazy and bizarre that it doesn't matter that I can't keep up because I don't play with those rules.
Kids nowadays have no sense of history, and if it takes teaching them the original rules to 4-square to instill some heritage into their otherwise insignificant lives then I will carry that torch!
The scariest thing about this whole phenomenon is what I experienced just a year ago.
I was scheduled for recess duty (watching to make sure none of the little angels killed each other) on one of the first days of school when I happened to over hear the rules of a 4 square game being recited to a group of 3rd graders. The boy who was in the "king" position rattled off like 5 or 6 rules, "No cherry bombs, snake eyes or fisties, holds and double hits are allowed, and king can't get out on serve." The reason that this otherwise normal event caught my attention was because I knew that there were "new kids" playing and I was interested to see how they questioned what these "rules" were. To my immediate and bewildered amazement the "new kids" didn't question the "rules" they were told. THEY KNEW THE RULES! It was like some crazy religious cult or a fruity hippie commune (They were all drinking the kool-aid). I have been to other schools and witnessed the same thing... Teachers and parents be forewarned; keep a vigilant watch over this infectious mindset. If we don't instill a foundation of classic playground game rules, the catastrophic possibilities are endless!Example:
Dr. Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
(I've been waiting to use a Ghostbusters reference for a while now... But honestly, when is Ghostbusters not applicable to real-life situations?!)
I can't describe the shock, this went from epidemic to pandemic in a matter of a few short words over the course of a few short seconds! Regardless of the insurmountable circumstances, of overcoming this widespread horror I will take up the torch of slaying this infectious tribulation! Who's with me?!
6 comments
You know I'm always with you. I would like to point out one thing, however. I think it's awesome to see kids using their imaginations. How many times have we thought, "Man, these kids just don't have an imagination anymore!"?
We used to make up our own games. Toilet tag, 4 square using no hands at all..etc.
I say, let them use their brains, before they get home and turn on the video games. Which is probably where they came up with the "porn stars"...
Andy,
I completely understand where you are coming from with the using their imaginations and exercising their brains side of things, but you don't see what I see. These games are being made up and still being called the original. There is no one saying, "we made up a NEW game which is loosely based on the original..." They are claiming this to be the original.
I am all for having kids get out and play and use their imaginations to entertain themselves but there has to be line we establish. These playground games are timeless and need to be preserved for their merit and what they teach our children. The game of 4-square has turned into a tyrannical dictatorship that allows the "king" to impose any rules he/she wants... As historically accurate as that is (in some countries) the kids aren't saying that. I would be more than happy if a child started a game of 15th century Medieval Europe Rules, but their is no disclaimer given.
We need to make sure these kids understand the significance of playing these games in their original form.
Wait... What's toilet tag?!
A.J.
Toilet Tag was a game my 4th grade classmates and I invented. On our playground was three large tractor tires laid on their sides and one larger one laid on top of those. You couldn't touch the ground, or get tagged or you would be "it". When you got "it" you flushed yourself through the whole in the top tire before you could begin trying to tag the next person to be "it".
But I digress...
The biggest reason I am a proponent of public schooling VS homeschooling is the social interaction public school provides. As much as we hate to admit it, life is a lot like that playground.
In life, we find the same groups of people, the popular people, the nerds, the geeks, the freaks, the losers, the stoners, the jocks, and the (insert label here). Each group plays it's own version of the playground games, with their own rules.
It doesn't matter what version of what game you play, as long as you understand that the rules can and will change at any time. You have to be ready to adapt, to change, and to do so in a way that doesn't end up putting you into whatever group of kids that are, to you, the undesirables.
Every thing changes over time. Everything. The Grand Canyon didn't start out so grand after all, did it? One my personal curiosities, language, changes and adapts over time.
There are certain things we should hold dear and cherish; Morals, work ethic, personal responsibility to name but a few. The one thing we can be certain of is this: Things change.
I say let the kids change the rules, but hold them to the important stuff. Sportsmanship, fairness, playing nice, etc. Teach them how to win and loose gracefully. The rules are really more like guidelines anyway.
I wholeheartedly agree that Ghostbuster is always relevant (full disclosure: I have a rabbit named Dr. Venkman and my car's name is Gozer). I never knew the rules to four square in the first place. I was the new kid who didn't question things... and then got out three seconds later without a clue why.
"But honestly, when is Ghostbusters not applicable to real-life situations?!" The answer is never, it is ALWAYS applicable.
I smoke a hookah flavor called "Bahama Mama".
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