Cat Burrito

AJ Teaters

Cat Burrito

A question was recently posed to me, by myself, after visiting a tiny (I'm talking like 3 booths and a table) Mexican food establishment, and both figuratively and literally inhaling one of the most delicious burritos I have ever had. I say literally because I accidentally swallowed a bean whole and gagged myself about half way through gorging myself on this Tortilla wrapped manna from heaven! It was like Moses himself came down and used his staff to strike this restaurant, and had God produce this food for me in my time of need! Seriously people it was a religious experience, closest I have ever come to God, Jesus spoke to me and I was given the gift of eating in tongues. That's the gift when you can taste every ingredient in every bite (that may not be biblical, but it should be) . Let's just say that if Jesus ate this burrito he would've wept (that is biblical, John 11:35*)


*It's said (in some commentary's) that Jesus wept to show his piety and sympathy to those who had just lost a loved one, but if I use the context of my burrito situation; Jesus and I would be weeping together over the ferociously amazing awesomeness of this burrito.


Sorry for the digression, but you really need to understand how good this burrito was to understand my thought process. So, whilst eating this burrito* (I'm just going to put an asterisk by the word burrito to denote BEST BURRITO EVER for the rest of the this post). A very VERY random thought popped into my head. I thought, "I know they said this was pork, but what if it was cat meat?! It totally could be, and I would have no idea... Would I still eat it if it were cat?" I thought about it for a second, took another delicious bite of cat or pork or whatever it was, and then answered my own question, "YES, YES I WOULD!"

• If I ate that burrito* and didn't know it was cat, and then was given another... I would eat it.

• If I ate that burrito* and didn't know it was cat, I would order them for all my friends and make them eat them, wait until they were done and then tell them it was cat!

• If I ate that burrito* and didn't know it was cat, and then found out it was cat; I would make a t-shirt that says, "I <3 Cat Burritos" and not wear it as a joke.

• If I ate that burrito* and didn't know it was cat, I would order it again (and call it by it's true name "El Gato Magnifico")

This all being said (and my apparent new "cat-burrito" eating persona) the big question is, "Why do bad things entice people?" Things like: food so good you don't care what it's made from, movies like Howard the Duck or Battlefield Earth, watching Golf and/or tennis, or Stephanie Meyers books. I chalk it up to the "car accident phenomenon". We do it because we can't look away.