It's a bird... It's a plane... IT'S...

AJ Teaters

It's a bird... It's a plane... IT'S...

We all have a picture of Jesus in our heads. I like to picture my Jesus (insert funny metaphor here):

• as a mischievous badger.

• as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey.

• as a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, there's something special about him...

• in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.

• like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

Maybe you prefer the “baby Jesus” to the “full-grown Jesus” sitting in his golden fleece diapers, lyin' there in His ghost manger, just lookin' at His Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors.

I like to picture my Jesus as a superhero, but the question that broods (it's a good comic book term) in my mind is, “which?”

Superman

I wanted to start with the obvious first. Why not make Jesus my own personal Superman? First because it would be too easy. Superman is the perfect superhero; he is honest, compassionate, patriotic, and pretty much all powerful. What can't Superman do? It would be so simple to make Jesus synonymous with Superman but I like to try and back my analogies and metaphors with some sort of Biblical backing or fact. The problem as I see it is that even though Jesus was honest, compassionate and all powerful... Jesus can't fly, He doesn't have heat vision, or super strength, but most importantly I know for a fact that Jesus ain't no alien that came to our planet because His was about to blow up. There is just not enough Biblical backing for me to make this correlation with any kind of reliability or validity.

The Incredible Hulk



At least there is some Biblical reference to Jesus getting so angry that He is ruled by His emotion more than His brain. Matthew 21:12-13, Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. "It is written," he said to them, " 'My house will be called a house of prayer,'but you are making it a 'den of robbers.' I really wish Matthew would have added, "and you don't want to see me when I'm angry," Mark would've. But I digress, Doves! Jesus totally kicked the asses of guys selling doves, that just goes to show you how angry He was. It's not like the people in the temple were selling child pornography or cocain, they were selling doves. I like this Jesus, it makes me feel better about myself knowing that Jesus lost his temper at least once. But I still have a problem with the fact that it wasn't a constant occurrence throughout His ministry, but I guess if Jesus turned into a horrible monster every time He got frustrated He probably wouldn't have gotten many followers.

Mystique or Jedi



The reason that I chose two different “superheros” is two fold: 1) I have a hard time picturing my Jesus as a sexy blue, gun toting, leather clad, red haired vixen. 2) Mystique is a villain and that's just hard for me to have Jesus be. What is my reasoning for comparing these two “superheroes” and how do they fit into being anything like Jesus? The reason behind this is because of Jesus' ability to shield Himself from the masses. Luke 24: 15-16 as they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him. Who else besides the aforementioned sexy blue, gun toting, leather clad, red haired vixen (let's add one more adjective about her) shape shifter could have disguised themselves well enough for even their closest colleagues from recognizing them? Far be it from me to put Jesus in a box but a sexy blue, gun toting, leather clad, red haired shape shifting vixen is tight box. Jedi on the other hand is a little bit easier for me to picture Jesus as. They uphold truth, justice and have awesome mind powers! I can totally see Jesus walking to Emmaus and happening by these two disciples talking about... Jesus of Nazareth... blah blah... Crucifixion... blah blah... Messiah... blah blah... *tear* *sniffle*... boo hoo... Jesus thinks, “I can't let them know who I am... Quick, Jedi mind trick time!”

Man 1: Who did you say you were?

Jesus: (waving hand slowly) I'm not the man you are looking for.

Man 1: This isn't the man we're looking for.

Jesus: I don't know what you are discussing.

Man 1: He doesn't know what we're discussing.

Jesus: OK, stop

Man 1: We need to stop.

Nightcrawler



The next superhero that popped (no pun intended, who am I kidding they're always intended) into my head was Nightcrawler. He didn't only pop into my head because he is like the best X-Men character ever but because of the verse that was mentioned in the previous passage. Luke 24 (specifically 31) “Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.” If you can honestly tell me the first thing that popped into your head WASN'T Nightcrawler, let me know and I'll send you a cookie!

Wolverine



All I have to say is POWER TO HEAL!

Batman



Nothing says savior of all mankind quite like Vigilante Bad Ass! This is my pick overall. The comparisons are nothing but (pun intended) uncanny. The biggest parallel is that Jesus was fully human but also fully God (super-human), and Batman or Bruce Wayne isn't really a superhero, he is more of a super-human. Batman isn't a mutant, he isn't an alien, nothing radioactive bit him or blew up next to him to make him the way he is, it is totally Batman's choice to be the superhero that he is. Also let's not forget where both Jesus and Batman get their ability to be “super”, their Dads! Batman has an endless supply of the almighty dollar (buying himself infinite gadgets and vehicles) and Jesus has an endless supply of the Almighty Father (aiding Him in miracles of healing and conquering sin). Finally the most obvious similarity is that both were super-humans that fought against the corrupt government that was in place during their time, while constantly fighting the criminally insane (Jesus had the Pharisees while Batman had the Joker, Two-Face and Catwoman).

If you had to pick what superhero Jesus was most closely associated with, who would you pick?